Our First Walk Outdoors

The idea of taking Xena for a walk outdoors, sounds more innocent than it is. I’m concerned about her frequent spooking, although in the past two months I’ve become quite used to handling her. I’m expecting the outdoors to be challenging, partly because of the unknown and partly because all the other horses will be in the barn.

What We Did Today
9:30 to 11:05 a.m. = 1 hours, 35 minutes  Counting the Minutes

I’ve chosen the east shoot for our first walk because it’s somewhat protected, being enclosed on three sides, and it’s not too big — about 45 x 160 feet. My plan is to build Xena’s confidence slowly using approach and retreat.

On our first attempt, we walk about 20 feet from the barn, before Xena becomes hesitant. So, we turn back until we reach a point where she begins to relax, carries her head lower and licks her lips. We pause at this safe spot for a minute or two. Then we turn around and begin walking away from the barn once again.

We repeat this pattern 4 or 5 times, but each time I shorten the retreat distance to a new safe spot, because Xena is becoming more confident. By the end of the session she is able to walk the entire 160 feet to the end of the shoot.

On our walk back to the barn we randomly play Circling Game℠, Yo-yo Game℠, hide your hiney, Sideways Game℠ and finallly Squeeze Game℠ with the pasture fence and water trough.

A great achievement for our first walk!

Circling Game℠, Yo-yo Game℠, Sideways Game℠ and Squeeze Game℠ are service marks of Parelli Natural Horsemanship, Inc.

Peek-a-boo

This game came about by chance, at a time when Xena and I were still relative strangers. I was at the barn one evening to visit her, except she wouldn’t come to the door of her stall to see me. I was hesitant about entering the stall — a nervous horse in a confined space can be a dangerous situation. So instead I settled for peering through the bars; watching as she ate her hay. Whenever she raised her head, I’d move to the right for a better view. But at the same moment, Xena would move to the left, positioning her head behind the doorframe and water bucket.

After bobbing and weaving 3 or 4 times, it was obvious she was trying to hide from me, but at least I was getting a response. I began to wonder, could I encourage her to mirror me in a game of peek-a-boo? We continued to sway back and forth, with me admittedly resorting to baby-talk, “I see you Xena!” followed by me quickly ducking behind the door panel. With each sway the game drew her forward, her hay now forgotten. I was rewarded 10 minutes later, when she peeked around the door frame, wearing a shy, curious expression.

Related Post
Car Wash Mitt

Don’t Touch Me!

‘Put your hand on your heart and your heart in your hand.’
— Pat Parelli 

It’s heartbreaking, to see an animal so withdrawn that her body language is a mantra of ‘don’t touch me’. It’s heartbreaking, when loving gestures have the power to cause emotional pain and physical discomfort. And it’s heartbreaking, to want to comfort someone but be denied permission to touch them, even if that someone is a horse.

Could I earn Xena’s trust by respecting her wishes? I’d known her only two weeks when I made the decision to stop touching her. This meant I couldn’t pet her, groom her or pick her feet.* Even when fastening her halter, I was careful to not graze her face with my fingertips. Perhaps this sounds ridiculous, but I wanted to be the one human who did as she asked, even if it wasn’t easy.

In time, I began to wonder how could I make my touch so comforting that Xena would want to be petted? Could I make my human hand so soft and non-threatening that she would stop flinching? Could I put my heart in my hand and make it meaningful for her?

A lambswool car wash mitt became the ideal solution.

The first time I held the mitt out for Xena to sniff, she spontaneously wiggled her nose into it. I’d already rubbed it on my hair and coat, so it had my scent. Now during our long walks around the arena, I’d buff the tip of her nose whenever we stopped. Slowly, inch by inch, she allowed the mitt to stroke her face, neck, body, legs, and even her tail. Eventually, my bare hand followed.

The mitt taught me to slow my gestures and to be more aware of my body language, but more importantly it helped me build the foundation of Xena’s trust. And in the end, not touching her was all about the Friendly Game℠.

Related Posts
Grounded Rider Game
Grooming Her Face

* I didn’t own Xena at this time. She’s owned by the barn owner and I’m volunteering to retrain her, while I learn Parelli Natural Horsemanship. Usually the barn staff cares for Xena, so I was certain they’d continue to do so, if I didn’t.
Friendly Game℠, Porcupine Game℠ and Driving Game℠ are service marks, and Parelli™ is a trademark of
Parelli Natural Horsemanship, Inc.