A Meaningful 10 Minutes

My daily commute home from the office takes almost 2 hours; that’s not unusual for life in Toronto. On those nights when I ride, the evening always feels so rushed. I rush home from work, I rush through dinner, I rush to the barn, I rush to tack up, and then I rush to finish up and get back home again. There’s nothing relaxing about it.

On night’s like this, I barely have 10 minutes to spend with Xena, and I always come away feeling disappointed. I began to wonder, how can I make those 10 minutes meaningful for Xena, and for me? How can I make Xena feel special, even though I’m grooming and tacking up Scarlet? Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• When I arrive at the barn I greet Xena first, before the horse I’ll be riding (usually Scarlet). Xena is the alpha mare of Scarlet’s herd, so it seems fitting that Xena should be first.

• I spend 5 minutes of concentrated time with Xena at her stall, playing the Friendly Game℠, stroking her face, talking to her, giving her a few carrots.

• Then I groom Scarlet in the cross-ties next to Xena’s stall. From this position, I can talk to Xena, give her the odd carrot and include her in the attention Scarlet is receiving. When I do this, Xena will usually stand at her stall doorway, watching Scarlet and I.

• After my ride, I return Scarlet to the cross-ties near Xena’s stall. Once again I talk to Xena from a distance and share Scarlet’s carrots with her.

• At the end of the evening, when Scarlet and my tack have been put away, I spend 10 meaningful minutes with Xena. We play the Friendly Game℠ again, with lots of petting. I might pick her feet, finger-comb her mane, and quickly brush off any surface dirt or hay — there just isn’t time for a full grooming.

I don’t know if 10 minutes actually matters to a horse, but I do know it matters to me. I like to believe Xena realizes I’ve at least made the effort.

Friendly Game℠ is a service mark of Parelli Natural Horsemanship, Inc.